Tuesday, March 29, 2011

From March 17: Giving up to get more out of life

As I've grown up and matured, I've had to put aside many childish ways in order to make room for other things in life. This started, notably, about 4 years ago. After a fairly wild run of my teenage years and early twenties, I decided to clean up my act. No more tattoos; time to take out the body piercings (even my beloved self-inflicted nose ring); growing my hair out conservatively and in a normal, more natural tone after years of dramatic, crazy, cartoonish styles. These changes paved the way for Jessica version 2.0 and started producing results when I turned 25. It started with a "big girl job" with a publishing company equipped with a salary and commission structure as well as a business casual wardrobe. This was what I considered a major step up from slumming it at various restaurants (no offense to any current servers). Unfortunately, that only lasted about a year (sales just wasn't my thing). I found myself having to reevaluate my priorities and the goals I had for my future. I spent nearly 10 months of ups and downs trying to find a job that could turn into a career that I would half-way like and not want to jump off a bridge at the end of every month. Patience and persistence did pay off in the form of an entry level job at my mother's company. The early hours (far earlier than I had ever previously gotten up for) took some adjusting but eventually I was used to it. Several months later, I am totally used to the schedule and despite going to bed at 9 o'clock, which seems early, I am always in a constant sleepy state. And soon, I will be starting my new position with the company which I was able to transfer to in just 6 months!

I have also significantly cut down on going out to the bars. There was one summer that I went to Ripple 7 days in a row along with my friend who used to be named Broad Ripple Becky. For many years, I was able to rush to the front of the line and get into bars without paying covers just by acknowledging with a smile and sometimes a hug. Now, those bartenders and door men have moved on in their lives and I hardly recognize the crowd that jams into my old favorite bars. The holidays and nice, Summer days/nights often bring back familiar faces but definitely not in the same concentration as years past. But there have been so many positives that have come from giving up my partying ways: I've been able to quit smoking (partying, drinking, smoking all go hand and hand), I've become a morning person which I've always wanted to be, I've been able to start a savings account. Those are just a few directly connected to turning in my drinking cap.

These old ways of living have also enriched my life. I have a much more defined, clear goal of how I want my life to go. It has boosted my mood, made me a better friend, and helped me just declutter all aspects of life. It has also shined a light on my many positives. I am so much more lovable, deserving of love and capable of loving in return. I'm even a better pet owner which I should probably credit D with pushing me to become.

Although I miss the freedom of going out whenever and drinking until the sun comes up, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have had the best 6 months of my life and none of it has been because of going out. I love my friends. I love my family. I love my boyfriend. I love my dog!! I look for many more wonderful days in the future!!

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